1.A young business man had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
一个年轻人刚开始做生意，租了一间漂亮的办公室。坐在办公室，他看见一个人从外面走进办公室。装着很忙的样子，他拿起话筒，假装正在跟人谈一笔很大的生意。他从嘴里说出的，都是数目很大的数字，还有口气很大的许诺。
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."
最后，他挂上电话，问来访者:“您有什么事吗？”来访者说:“哦，我是来装电话的。”
2.Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy"
And Julie replied, "Because that’s what I put in my geography exam!"
朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“祷告上帝，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”
妈妈打断她说：“朱莉叶，你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？”
朱莉叶回答说：“因为我在地理考卷上是这么写的。”
3.The Swimmer
The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast.
Johnny laughed.
"Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that" asked the teacher.
"No, sir," answered Johnny, "but I wonder why he did not swim it four times and get back to the side where his clothes were."
游泳者
老师给同学们讲了一个小故事，说有一个人早饭前要在河里游泳，横渡三趟。
约翰尼笑了。
老师问道：“你不相信一个游泳很好的人可以做到么？”
约翰尼回答说：“不是的，先生，我是不明白他为什么不游四次，好回到他放衣服的那边。”
4.It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store.
A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curse. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown at the end of the line again.
As he got up, he said to the person at the end of the line,” That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"
一天，一个商店降价大甩卖。人们在开店之前就排在了商店门前，排成了很长的一队。一个身材矮小的人推挤着想到队伍的前面，但被推了回来，而且被咒骂着插队。那个人又一次努力往前挤， 但是又被挤到了最后面，而且下巴被重重的碰了几下，他对最后一个人说：“如果他们再次这样对我，我就不去开商店门了！！！”
5.Goldfish
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath
Stan: Blindfold them!
斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
追问：
再来两个 不太够啊
回答：
童英语小故事--小马过河 (How a Colt Crossed the River)
One day, a colt took a bag of wheat to the mill.
As he was running with the bag on his back, he came to a small river. The colt could not decide whether he could cross it. Looking around, he saw a cow grazing nearby. He asked, "Aunt Cow, could you tell me if I can cross the river" The cow told him that he could and that the river was not very deep, just knee high.
the colt was crossing the river when a squirrel jumped down a tree and stopped him. The squirrel shouted, "Colt, stop! Youll drown! One of my friends drowned just yesterday in the river." Not knowing what to do, the colt went home to consult his mom.
He told his mom his experience on the way. His mother said, "My child, dont always listen to others. Youd better go and try yourself. Then youll know what to do."
Later, at the river, the squirrel stopped the colt again. "Little horse, its too dangerous!"
"No, I want to try myself", answered the colt. Then he crossed the river carefully.
On the other side of the river, the colt realized that the river was neither as shallow as the cow said nor as deep as the squirrel told him.
You see, real knowledge comes from practice.
小马过河儿童英语故事中文译文
一天，小马驮着麦子去磨坊。
当他驮着口袋向前跑去时，突然发现一条小河挡住了去路。小马为难了，这可怎么办呢？
它向四周望了望，看见一头奶牛在河边吃草。小马问道：“牛阿姨，请您告诉我，这条河我能趟过去吗？”奶牛回答说：“水很浅，刚到膝盖。”
小马正准备过河，突然丛树上跳下一只松鼠，拦住它大叫道：“小马，别过河！你会被淹的。昨天，我的一个伙伴就在这条河里淹啦！”小马不知如何是好，于是决定回家问问妈妈。
小马把路上的经历告诉了妈妈。妈妈说：“孩子，光听别人说是不行的，你自己亲自去试一试，就知道答案了。”
小马回到河边，刚要下水，松鼠又大叫起来：“小马，你不要命啦？”小马说：“让我自己试试吧。”它一面回答一面下了河，小心地趟了过去。原来河水既不像老牛说的那样浅也不像松鼠说的那样深。
这下明白了吧，实践才能出真知。
The Fox and the Cat 狐狸和猫
It happened that the cat met Mr. Fox in the woods. She thought, "He is intelligent and well experienced, and is highly regarded in the world," so she spoke to him in a friendly manner, "Good-day, my dear Mr. Fox. How is it going How are you How are you getting by in these hard times"
The fox, filled with arrogance, examined the cat from head to feet, and for a long time did not know whether he should give an answer. At last he said, "Oh, you poor beard-licker, you speckled fool, you hungry mouse hunter, what are you thinking Have you the nerve to ask how I am doing What do you know How many tricks do you understand"
"I understand but one," answered the cat, modestly.
"What kind of a trick is it" asked the fox.
"When the dogs are chasing me, I can jump into a tree and save myself."
"Is that all" said the fox. "I am master of a hundred tricks, and in addition to that I have a sackful of cunning. I feel sorry for you. Come with me, and I will teach you how one escapes from the dogs."
Just then a hunter came by with four dogs. The cat jumped nimbly up a tree, and sat down at its top, where the branches and foliage completely hid her.
"Untie your sack, Mr. Fox, untie your sack," the cat shouted to him, but the dogs had already seized him, and were holding him fast.
"Oh, Mr. Fox," shouted the cat. "You and your hundred tricks are left in the lurch. If you been able to climb like I can, you would not have lost your life."
一只猫在森林里遇到一只狐狸，心想：「他又聪明，经验又丰富，挺受人尊重的。」於是它很友好地和狐狸打招呼：「日安，尊敬的狐狸先生，您好吗？这些日子挺艰难的，您过得怎么样？」狐狸傲慢地将猫从头到脚地打量了一番，半天拿不定主意是不是该和它说话。最后它说：「哦，你这个倒霉的长着胡子、满身花纹的傻瓜、饥肠辘辘地追赶老鼠的家伙，你会啥？有甚么资格问我过得怎么样？你都学了点甚么本事？」「我只有一种本领。」猫谦虚地说。「甚么本领？」狐狸问。「有人追我的时候，我会爬到树上去藏起来保护自己。」「就这本事？」狐狸不屑地说：「我掌握了上百种本领，而且还有满口袋计谋。我真觉得你可怜，跟着我吧，我教你怎么从追捕中逃生。」
就在这时，猎人带着四条狗走近了。猫敏捷地窜到一棵树上，在树顶上蹲伏下来，茂密的树叶把它遮挡得严严实实。「快打开你的计谋口袋，狐狸先生，快打开呀！」猫冲着狐狸喊道。可是猎狗已经将狐狸扑倒咬住了。「哎呀，狐狸先生，」猫喊道，「你的千百种本领就这么给扔掉了！假如你能像我一样爬树就不至於丢了性命了！」
