搞笑英语短剧6人

2020-04-28 搞笑 135阅读
守株待兔(英语短剧) 剧本
你可以自己加几个角色~
(因为是搞笑,所以不必太拘谨。普通台词意思对即可。)
[开始。树)上台安静地屹立到舞台较后方。导演(范冰)走到台前]
导演:Action![跑下台]
[农夫冷酷地上。]
农夫:I’m a farmer.(稍停顿)[走两步]A modern farmer.(掏出墨镜戴上)[冷酷地走两步,突然被绊了一跤,回头生气地踢了下绊自己的石头,继续保持冷酷]When I was yong,I studied in Nan~tong Middle School[掏出胸卡骄傲地展示给观众看,收起]!So I’m rich now![开始展示名牌,边说边掏]Look!This is my modern mobile——Motorola WC 250!This is my Swatch!This my MP3!This is my shoes——ADI~DAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry. And look at this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do U know what’s this?痒痒挠?No no no~~It’s my modern——锄头~!![看下表]It’s time to do some farming![开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作,锄了两下,突然] Oh yes!I think farming should be combined with music![掏出MP3戴上,开始很有激情地边锄地边唱]Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming should be combined with music~!Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming will be funny and easy~![边唱边锄边慢慢下台,把没用的道具拿走,把有用的道具准备在口袋里] [树走上前台]
树:I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作,边做边唱:哼哼哈西!!!]I can dance![跳四小天鹅]I’m tall!And I’m Strong!IF you hit me,you will 挂掉!Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。树站回后台]
[兔子A上]
兔子A(一开始不知道状况。以为自己扮演周杰伦,所以很热情地上场跟观众打招呼):Hey everybody,I’m Jay!I love U!I love Nantong![展示新专辑《十一月的肖邦》]Now let me sing one of my new songs to U!The name of the song is 《发如雪》![清清嗓子正要唱,这时候导演(范冰)上]
导演:[拿手中纸筒狠狠打了下兔子A的头]What are U doing?! Now U are a rabbit,understand?![兔子A:Sorry sorry sorry] [导演边说边夺过《十一月的肖邦》。导演下台之前,看了下《十》] What’s this?[看了看,惊喜地]Oh!It’s mine!(很兴奋地拿着下场)
兔子A:OK,now I’m a rabbit. I just had my breakfast. Now I’m just walking around here. I think walking after meals is good for my health. [在场上转圈,悠闲散步]
[农夫继续锄地,边锄边上场,突然看见前面有个兔子]
农夫:(惊喜地)Lunch![扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it! [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走]
[农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走,兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。]
兔子A:Wahhhh~!(吓一跳)What’s this!
农夫:Hnnnn…!I will kill U for lunch!
兔子A:But your gun… [帮农夫把枪头调转过来(农夫一开始把枪对着自己)]
农夫:Thank you!
兔子A:My pleasure. (突然想起来农夫要杀自己) Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑,躲到树后面,农夫追到树前]
农夫:Where~ to go? Haha!
[农夫开了一枪“砰”。兔子在树后惊慌躲闪,没被打到。树做出受伤中弹状。 农夫又开枪,同上。 农夫开始加快频率,火力密集地开枪。兔子开始时惊慌躲闪,躲着躲着跳起舞来。树继续痛苦中弹状。]
兔子A[自我陶醉中,边跳边说]You didn’t hurt me! You didn’t hurt me!
树:[痛苦万分地]But…U…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后]
[兔子继续兴奋地跳舞。农夫停止开枪,走到兔子面前,看着它。 兔子猛然抬头发现]
农夫:Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子,开枪,没声音,看看枪,示意没子弹了。兔子见状,非常兴奋地大笑起来]
兔子A:Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now! [兴奋大笑,笑到抽筋,笑到后仰。突然头撞倒了后面的树] Wa ![兔子晕两下~~ “我倒!” 倒地]
农夫:OH! [很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you !!! [想一下] But I’m still full now.Let me tie it to the tree and have a sleep.I will eat it after sleeping.[把兔子绑到树上。倒地睡到树旁边]
……
兔子A:[兔子很快醒了,看看四周,发现自己被绑了,很惊讶]Where am I? What happened?
树:[指着农夫]He caught you and wanted to eat you.
兔子A:What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape?[东张西望,看到农夫的手机]
[兔子不知不觉地把树杈移开,走到手机前看了看]咦?What’s this?[捡起来看]Oh,a mobile.[再看]It’s beautiful.[放回原处。 又自觉地把自己绑在树上。 突然想起来]A mobile!Maybe I can call some one to help me! [又不知不觉地把自己放出来,那起手机] But how to use it???
树:[走上前]Let me tell U.Look,press this button![给兔子]
兔子A:Oh I see. [做出打电话的样子] 喂?
李咏:[上台,激情澎湃地] Hello!This is lucky fifty-two![做出幸运52的手势]I’m Liyong!Now let’s start our first question!What’s the most probable relation between 康熙 and 雍正? A. Husband and wife B.Teacher and student C.Waiter and costomer Answer me,please!
兔子A:(很冷漠地)Sorry, wrong number.[挂掉]
李咏:Answer me!Answer me! En..?喂?喂喂?[很郁闷地下台]
兔子A:Now let me call again.[拨打] 喂?
兔子B:喂?
兔子A:Hey Jackey!
兔子B:Hey tommy!
兔子A:How are you doing?
兔子B:Fine,thank you.And U?
兔子A:I’m fine too!How are your parents doing?
兔子B:They are fine,thank you.And U?
兔子A:They are fine,too!How is your uncle doing?
兔子B:He’s fine,thank you!And U?
兔子A:He’s fine , too!
兔子B:But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from me…NO WAY!!!
兔子A:No no no!I’m in danger now!Come and help me!!!
兔子B:But where are you?
兔子A:I’m under a tree!
兔子B:[边打电话边在附近走,经过兔子A面前,两个人还没发现]What can you see around you?
兔子A:I see a rabbit ,rather like you!
兔子B:A rabbit…rather like me… OK! I’ll soon come!Wait for me! I will help you! [匆匆离开]
[兔子A 打完电话,小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处,还很有礼貌地说了句“Thank you.” 然后又很自觉地把自己绑回了树上]
兔子A:Hahaha!My friend will come and save me,yeah! [兴奋过度,后仰,头又撞倒树上,昏眩中…“我晕!” 又晕了]
[兔子B上。]兔子B:I’m also rabbit!I’m clever! I’m brave ! And I’m strong! [展示肌肉] OH!My friend is here!Let me help him out! [费力地想把树枝(双臂)挪开,使了几次劲,还是不行] It’s too tight! I must think of a good way! [看到农夫扔掉的痒痒挠] Let’s see,what’s this!A 锄头![装作打高尔夫球,试了试锄头手感]Oh,it’s nice.[走到树面前,正要砍]
树:Stop!!!What will you do?
兔子B:I will cut you down to save my friend.
树:O. [突然醒悟] What?! Cut me down?! Teachers told us that we should protect the environment! Understand?!
兔子B:Oh yes!You are right! [扔掉锄头] I have to think of another idea! [想了想] Oh!![灵感突来][看了看手表] Oh it’s time to do morning exercise !Come on! [开始带头做早操。做着做着对树说“Follow me!” (企图让树动起来,两只手松开,这样就可以救出兔子A)树也开始跟着做起早操。 兔子B轻轻上前,想救出兔子A。但是树的广播操动作恰好都是会挡住营救的。兔子B狂汗… -_-b 广播操毕。树继续绑着兔子A]
兔子B:Why?! Maybe I need another idea. Oh!I’v got it!Music! [音响放起泰坦尼克号主题曲高潮前奏。 兔子B抱住树,企图引导树像女主角一样张开双臂,放出兔子A。树渐渐陶醉,手缓缓松开。兔子B正要搭救同伴,突然兔子A两只手张开,成了女主角动作。树又抱住了兔子A的腰,成了男主角动作。树和A陶醉其中。B要唤醒A:“Wake up!Wake up!”
兔子A沉醉其中,完全不理它,还用脚踹走要救它的B:“Don’t disturb me!”继续陶醉。]
兔子B:(无奈ing…)Stop!!!(音乐停) (沮丧)I can’t save my friend…[掏出纸巾想要擦汗,带出10块钱,掉在地上]
树:Money![一个箭步冲上去捡起钱,回到原位并且对着太阳验钞。]
兔子A:[看四周] I’m free!!!Oh yes,I’m free!Thank you,Jackey! [慢动作深情扑向兔子B] Jackey~~~~ [突然兔子B低头系鞋带。兔子A控制不住一下子撞在树上,晕两下说:“暴头!”死翘。] [兔子B见状冲上去,深情地搂住A:“Tommy!Tommy!”[伤心地俯下身子,紧紧抱住A]
[这时睡觉中的农夫突然一个翻身,又把B压在了下面]
兔子B:I…can’t….breath……I’m dying!!!! [也翘了]
农夫:[农夫这时候醒了。擦了下口水,看见两只兔子] En..?Two rubbits! I rememer I have caught just one?! Oh,maybe I drank too much.
[兴奋地一手提一只兔子,哼着小曲下场]
树:[还在验钞的树正在高兴,突然发现是假钞]A!It’s a fake!Wait for me![追下去]
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