第一句话有些问题，用surprise有些不妥，和后文没有什么关系。你可以写成“I was very happy yesterday”或者“yesterday was a fine day”.“There were lots and lots of people there”这句话有问题应改为There were lots of people there.
"The people was sang,danced and played chess there."People前不加"the"
而且这句话语法有问题，应该改为People sang danced and played chess.“be+doing”是现在进行时不适合用在这里，因为整篇文章用的都是过去时，文章时态要统一
“the food was Chinese food”这个我也不确定对不对，但觉得怪怪的，可以换一种方式来讲“We ate Chinese food.”
“they were very delicious”这句话不对，因为Cinese food是不可数名词，一般看作单数所以应改成“It was very delicious.”
"Then we saw Chinese dancing in there."这句也有问题。“there"是副词，副词前不加定冠词“the”
“ I want learn this dancing”这句时态错了，应该是“wanted”还有应该是“I wanted to learn this dancing”这里有一个动词不定式“want to do something”
“It's a very prefect day!”时态错误！应是“It was a very prefect day！”
上面的都是我自己改的，应该都对，你自己仔细再看一下，有好多东西可能小学还没有教过，所以你错得比较多，不过没有关系的，以后在初中里都会讲的。你一定要再接再厉哦！谢谢~~~
