Bush's Nicknames Create Controversy
President Bush's penchant for nicknaming his associates has charmed and disarmed world leaders during his current swing through Europe-with one notable exception.
Queen Elizabeth II of England was apparently "infuriated" at the president's repeated attempts to call her by an affectionate moniker while visiting London over the weekend.
The trouble started, observers say, at a formal dinner at Buckingham Palace during which Bush greeted the British sovereign with a hearty, "What's shaking, Queenie?"
Queen Elizabeth, who seemed confused and unaware that she was being spoken to, did not acknowledge the president's greeting, but her nonresponse seemed only to egg him on.
"Hey, I'm talking to you, Q-E-2," the president said. Chortling, Bush then slapped the queen on the back, sending her tiara flying from her head and into Prince Phillip's soup.
Despite being warned by several members of the royal family to stop calling the Queen by nicknames, Mr. Bush persisted, calling the British sovereign "Crumpets," "Lemon-puss," and "Cha-Cha." Mr. Bush also called Prince Charles "Dumbo,"apparently in reference to the heir to the British throne's prominent ears.
Infuriated by Mr. Bush's familiar tone, which observers characterized as "cheeky," Queen Elizabeth stormed out of the dinner, whispering to her associates, "What a dolt! He makes my husband look like Albert Einstein."For his part, Mr. Bush seemed confused by the Queen's abrupt departure, calling out after the British sovereign as she left. "Come back, Chubby!" Mr. Bush said.
--Andy Borowitz for CONDIT CREATES LAVA LAMP INFERNO, 7/25/01
