mangoestochurchandstartstalkingtoGod.Hesays:"God,whatisamilliondollarstoyou?"andGodsays:"Apenny",thenthemansays:"God,whatisamillionyearstoyou?"andGodsays:"asecond",thenthemansays:"God,canIhaveapenny?"andGodsays"Inasecond"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
Fourbestfriendsmetatthehospitalsincetheirwivesweregivingbirthstotheirbabies.Thenursecomesuptothefirstmanandsays,"Congratulations,yougottwins."Themansaid"Howstrange,I'mthemanagerofMinnesotaTwins."Afterawhilethenursecomesuptothesecondmanandsays,"Congratulations,yougottriplets."Manwaslike"Hmmm,strangeIworkedasadirectorforthe"3musketeers."Finally,thenursecomesuptothethirdmanandsays
"Congratulations,yougottwinsx2."Manishappyandsays,"Ironic,Iworkforthehotel"4Seasons."Allthreeofthemarehappyuntiltheyseetheirlastbuddyjumpingallovertheplace,cursingGodandbanginghisheadonthewall.Theyaskedhimwhat'swrongandheanswered,"What'swrong?Iworkfor7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一个比一个效率高.
OsamaBinLaden,aCanadian,andPresidentBushwerewalkingdownthestreetwhentheysawagoldenlamp.Theyrubbeditandageniecameoutandsaid,"Iwillgranteachoneawishthat’s3together."TheCanadiansaid,"IamafatherandmysonwillbeafarmersoIwantthesoilinCanadatobeforeverfertile."Thegeniesaidthemagicwordsandthewishcametrue.OsamalookedamazedsohewishedforawallaroundAfghanistanthegeniesaidthemagicwordsandagainthewishcametrue.PresidentBushsaid"Genie,tellmemoreaboutthiswall,"thegeniesaid,”It’s50feetthickand500feettallsonothingcangetinandnothingcangetout."PresidentBushsaid,”Wow!That’sabigbridge...Fillitwithwater!!!
拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"
MyBabySwallowedaBullet
YoungMother:"Doctor,mybabyswallowdabullet.WhatshallIdo?
Doctor:"Don'tpointhimatanybody."
Notes
1.toswallowabullet:吞下一颗子弹
2.topointat:对...瞄准
个中意味自己体会吧:)
allybaby
Oncetwohunterswenthuntingintheforest.Oneofthemsuddenlyfelldownbyaccident.Heshowedthewhitesofhiseyesandseemedtohaveceasedbreathing.Theotherhuntersoontookouthismobilephonetocalltheemergencycenterforhelp.Theoperatorsaidcalmly:"First,youshouldmakesurethatheisalreadydead."Thentheoperatorheardagunshotfromtheotherendofthephoneandnextheheardthehunterasking:"WhatshouldIdonext?"
两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”
