搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
搞笑
5
人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：
西门吹雪
叶孤城
花满楼
打更的太监
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战乡村陌路
旁白：
A
quietvillageiscoveredwithwhitesnow.
Birdsaredancinginthecold.
A
maniswalkingalongthestreet,stepbystep.
Windiscominginsilence.
Anothermysteriousmanapproaches.
打更的太监：
Theweatherisdryandthingsareflammable,takecarenotcatchthefire!I
’
m
打酱
油的！
Y
与
X
相遇．
X
：
Ohm,I’m
sorrytoknockyou!
Y:
Ha-ha,Nevermindbaby.
X:
Excuseme,Couldyoutellmeyourname?
Y:
ha
ha,
I
won’t
change
my
name!
No
matter
what
happens.
I’m
the
most
famous
——
-Y
eGucheng
（登登登登！
！
！
）
.Whoareyou?
X:
I’m
ximenchuixue.
Y(
惊讶
):Ar,ximenchuixue?
X:
Y
es,whatiswrong?
Y:
IheardthatyouarethebestMartialArts?
X:
Great,youknowme!
Y(
抱腿
)
：
Please,please
……
Don
’
tkillme!Letmego!
X:
No,Imustkillyou!
Y:
I
don’t
wanttobekilled.Letmego!
X:
Noway!Y
ouknow?
Y(
突然站起冷冷的说
)
：
Don
’
tforceme!
X:
Pardon!
(Y
拿出一袋牛奶
)
X(
抢过牛奶
):Milk,verygood!Ilikedrinkingit.
Y:
Pleasedrinkit!
X(
喝完牛奶
):Thanks,ha-ha
Y:
Doyoustillwanttokillme?
X:
Sure,must!Milkismilk.
Y(
恼怒
+
冷酷
):V
erygood!V
erygood!Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?
X:
I’m
sureI
won’t!
Y:
Imustgiveyoualesson!IfI
don’t
beatyouthistime,I
’ll
neverbehavingproperly!3-2-1-0
X(
捂着肚子，蹲下
)
：
Ouch,Ouch!
Y(
大笑
)
：
HaHa
……
X(
可怜状
):Help!Help!Whereisthewashroom?
Y:What?
X:Toliet?
Y:What?
X:The
“WC”?
Y:Oh,Isee,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacrossingroad!
X:Thanks,bye-bye.
Y(
掏出纸屑吹
):Thisisgenuinesnow!
H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!
Y:Whoareyou?
H:Hua
—
man
—
-lou!Haveyouseenximenchuixue?
Y:Yes,hewasbeatenbymeandisin
“WC”now,
ha……
H(
惊讶
):Nowyouarethebestintheworld!
Y:Y
ouareright!
H:Teriffic!Y
ouaretheoneI
’
mlookingfor!Doyouwanttojoininme?
Y:Yes,
It’s
verygood.
H:Ok,followme;
let’s
go!
Y:Ok,
Let’sgo!
(Tobecontinued
…
)
