雅思写作9分范文
开头段
Opinionsdifferontheextenttowhichincarcerationdealseffectivelywith
crimeasopposedtoimprovingthequalityofeducation.Myviewisthatthere
willalwaysbearoleforprisonsinconfiningevilpeople,butbettereducation
ismorelikelytoreducecrimelevels.每个人的情况不同，也可以登录文都国际教育官网进行一对一的咨询。
主体段1：讨论prison的作用
Confiningcriminalstoprisonislikelytoalwaysbenecessaryatleastto
someextent.Therearecurrentlyalargenumberofpeopleinjailforserious
offenceslikemurderand,forthem,preventiveeducationwouldcometoolate.It
ismoreimportantthatsocietycontinuetobeprotectedfromthemthanto
releasetheminthehopethattheymightreformbyvirtueofeducational
programmes.Anotherrealityisthefactthatsomepeoplechoosetocommit
seriouswrongdoingsnomatterhowmucheducationtheyhavereceived.Thisisthe
caseformanywhite-collarcrimessuchasfraudwhichofteninvolvethe
elaborateschemesthatonlyveryintelligentpeoplecoulddevise.
1)犯了谋杀罪等重罪的大量囚犯，靠防止犯罪的教育来改变他们，已经太迟了。保护人们不受他们的伤害，比释放他们并指望通过教育来改造他们，更重要。
2)有些人无论接受了多少教育，都会选择犯罪。很多白领犯罪，比如诈骗，就是需要高智商的人才能设计出来的。
主体段2：讨论bettereducation的作用
Nevertheless,improvementstoeducationwould,inmyview,beabettermeans
ofreducingthenumberofpeoplewhowanttocommitcrimeinthelong-term.
Acquiringmoreusefulknowledgeespeciallywhenyoungwouldprovidegreater
opportunitiesforentryintosatisfyingcareers.Furthereducationopensupnew
possibilitiesintermsofdevelopinghealthyinterestsandparticipatingin
worthwhileactivitiessuchassportsandhobbies.Bettereducationwouldachieve
improvedoutcomessuchasaproficiencyinasportratherthanjustapassing
interest.Themorepeopleachievepersonalgoalsintermsoftheircareersor
hobbies,themorepeoplewillfindmeaninginlifeandthusnotbetemptedto
usetheirtalentsinillegalways.
1)获取更多有用的知识，尤其在年轻的时候，会给人带去更大的机会，进入体面的职业。
2)中学后的深造，为人们培养健康的兴趣和参加有意义的活动，提供了新的可能性。
3)更好的教育能带来更好的结果，比如对某项运动转瞬即逝的兴趣变成了熟练。
越多的人在职业和爱好方面达到了目标，就有越多的人找到生命的意义，因此不会被诱惑将自己的才华运用到违法的事情上。
结尾段
Inconclusion,Iacknowledgetheplacethatimprisonmentwillhavein
protectingsocietyfromseriousoffenderswhohavealreadycommittedcrimes.
Howevercrimelevelsaremorelikelytofallmoredrasticallyoverthelonger
termbyreasonofimprovementtoeducation.
